I have to stop, everything.

I have to.
I'm letting myself be compromised
I'm not supposed to feel this human
I'm above this

I can't remember when, I try not to remember it, but it was less than a week ago.
I was meditating, trying to eliminate any trace of doubt and pain from my mind, body, and soul.
I haven't mentioned much about my meditation but basically, when I start, I'm in a trance-like state.
But this time something snapped.
Something wants out of me
Something wants to get out
I felt anger, an emotion I spent so long trying to overcome
I felt a flood of pain
A flood of past memories
It took every fiber of my being trying to keep it locked down
But parts of it leaked out
I was texting AshLee when it happened
I had to end my conversation with her before anything came out
Before I said anything to ruin our friendship again, like I did so long ago

I don't know what this thing is
I just know it's been locked up for a long time
And now it's trying to get out.