Not so minor...

I haven't been cut up this badly since I first started being with her,I lost count..
For some reason this flesh won't bleed..

All I ever wanted to do was to make her see what I did, and prove to her that what I felt was true. But it didn't do anything.. it blew back at me and everything I thought I did right, just proved me wrong.

Love, is something I thought I could do right, the only thing I thought I could do right, but I can't..

I don't think I ever could.
I don't know what's left for me.
I don't know what will be left of me in the morning,

I can barely type this, my arms have gone weak,

I love you.

-Rafael

Minor Meltdown

I did it again yesterday, after almost 3 months without doing it.
I'm ashamed of what I'm doing with my body, for what? For relief? Or for self punishment? I don't know..
4 more cuts to go to the tally board on my arm...

I just want peace, in mind, in body, and in spirit.
I want it, not just for me, but for her too.

I hate myself,
So goddamn much.

-Sleep No More

I Might

Be normalizing now, back to an old state.
I've finally started to write poetry again and I'm hoping that I'll be able to finish some things I started so long ago.

I want to break out, it wants to break out,
And for the first time, I think I'll let my mind go free.

Let's try this again, shall we?

-Rafael

I'm so afraid...

That I'll end up alone in this world.

It's funny

Listening to someone elses religious beliefs. Especially someone that you love dearly.
Nothing weighs the mind more than knowing that your significant others belief says that because of the way you think, you're going to go to hell.

I accept whatever fate God grants me.
Heaven or Hell
Or something in between.

I will always be myself.

-Rafael