Walls

I had them up so long ago for a reason.
For situations like this.

I'm still trying to understand all this.
Why am I suddenly crumbling?

Is it because of everything I've built up until now?
Is it because I might lose Ivory?
Is it because I might lose Jesse?
Is it because I don't know why to live?
Is it because I lack a meaning?
Or is it because I'm just being pathetic?

I don't get it.
Everything with me right now is a flash flood,
I don't know when I'm going to burst or when the waters will recede.

These lines keep going through my head:
"When the world walked out on me, you stepped in"
"Yeah, and as soon as I stepped in, you left with the rest of the world"

Maybe it's just me,
All me.

Somehow, someway, I take everyone elses' actions personally,
I can't fucking help it...
Is it because I care THAT much?
And if so, why is it that I do?

I just don't get it.
I just don't get it.
I just don't get it.
I just don't get it!

I just know that there is one thing I need,
One thing I've always needed,
One thing I've always wanted,
Human companionship.

I don't have that...

Damn this stupid mind,
Damn this stupid heart...