I'm done blogging for today.

My emotions and feelings are extremely up and down.

Right now I am calm,
For how long I don't know.

I had a venting session with God, some higher being, or feel as though I did.
I told him what I felt and what was going through my head.
I tell him that how badly I wish I was dead,
And I tell him that I hold everyone's life above my own.
And how I don't know how much longer I could hold on...

As I lay on the ground, tears falling down the sides of my face
I ask God for a favor...

Help Jesse and Ivory,
Do something good for them,
It's the least they deserve.

Help them pull through,
Help them become stronger,
Help them become good.

Because they are destined for good in this life..
And they deserve good in their life.
Help them and you can help me.

After everything that I said, I felt a lot better.
I finally had the strength to stand back up.

Though my heart beats in pain still,
And my mind is numb and cold,
I stand,
Shaking...
But standing none the less.

Until tomorrow...
-Rafael