Morning...

My right knuckle is bruised from hitting walls in the past 24 hours.
My cough is back again, due to the sleeping pills that I took last night.

I can't function properly anymore.
I can't sleep, because my head keeps filling with images and thoughts of what happened yesterday.
I KNEW, I KNEW, that this was going to happen, but stupid hope kept me up.
It made me believe that things could be different.
Now my hope is shattered.
She lied to me,
And now I'm afraid, I'm too hurt, to trust her...

I tremble in my sleep at night,
I blast music on my headphones
I hit myself in order get rid of thoughts even though it's only temporary.
I do all that just for those few hours that I can sleep and forget.

This is what you deserve Rafael...
This is what happens..
This is what always happens when you get yourself attached to someone.
They hurt you and you hurt yourself.

It's my own damn fault,
I didn't try hard enough,
I didn't do what I should have.

I failed...
And now I don't know what to do anymore..