I wish I knew

How to change everything that's wrong with me.
How to be more appealing,to mean something.

My eyes water as I type this and with every blink I see my fists hitting me.
I keep thinking I deserve to feel this but can't imagine why anyone would deserve this..

I hate myself
I hate myself
I hate myself
I hate myself
I hate myself
I HATE MYSELF
I HATE MYSELF
I HATE MYSELF

God I hate myself...