Time

It's been a long time and a lot has happened...

Me and Ivory are broken up now by her choice.
September 16, 2010 - May 26, 2011
8 months I'll always remember.
This new dog tag around my neck is a reminder to Never Forget what I was willing to go through for someone that I truly loved.
Someone that I still love, even now.

It took me 2 years to get over a 1 day relationship, God knows how long this one will stay with me.
I blame myself more than I blame her. I was blinded by my own fears and insecurities, things that she shouldn't have had to deal with.
And yet, I wish she would've....
Just started to cry again..
I keep telling myself to man up and forget about her, to be like every other heartless guy out there.. And in that I realize what turns so many guys into assholes.. Pain and the sensation of actually losing your heart leaves you heartless and devoid of pain..

I'm split in two, the old me and the part of me that constantly wants to change. I want to be heartless and mean but I don't want to be heartless and mean...

I need another escape so that I can face my problems again.

God help me by helping her,
Then I can help myself...

-Rafael